Praising God in the storm

I remembered a year ago, I was at the lowest point of my life..

I banged my head anywhere I could,
I punched anything that's hard enough,
I pinched myself when I couldnt do both,
and I asked myself,
"Why am I even alive?"

I overdosed on medication,
I sufficated myself on my pillow,
I screamed my lungs out,
and I asked myself,
"Why am I not dead?"

All these while,
You were with me.
My Faithful Shepherd,
looking at this little black sheep
tossing and turning,
struggling to move away from Your nail pierced hands,
while trying to get myself into danger.

All these while,
You were by my side.
My Faithful Friend,
watching me hurt myself,
catching my every tear,
and loving me,
keeping me safe,
giving me attention
even when I refused to bow to You
in total surrender.

Yet, all these while,
You never gave up on me.

Thank You.

Thank You for teaching me the real meaning of
"In all things give thanks".

Thank You for granting me a great friend.

Thank You for sending help when I needed it.

The world will never understand how much help You have given me,
my own family doesnt understand why I honour You so much,
my colleagues thinks I am too stubborn in faith,
my friends laughed when I was displeased with how they treated You with disrespect.

But I dont care how they think,
because those awful nights,
they are not the ones with me,

You are,
and for that,
I will only listen to You.

Come what may Lord,
I will praise You in the storm..